A Prayer Because I’m “Expletive” Tired…

Stream of conscious realness as I kneel in Heaux church and commune with the divine...

Congregation of the United Heauxs Agnostic Church of the Heaux Goddess Down By the Holy Wine Bar, please bow your heads…

Dear, gorgeous as hell Heaux goddess/Goddess, blurred face pictures to protect your privacy and keep from getting banned in the USA - girl I am tired.  My mind and body are weary but I'm here, and I'm smiling, and I'm beyond happy. Your loyal subjects are all hustling within their niches, but being a smaller BBW of color has been a bit draining; downright ego and morale beating. Side Note: thank you for these curves and this legit AF racial & ethnic mix - I love them. All I know is thank you Lordt for pictures of puppies - they relax me. 

 When your thighs do the thing...

When your thighs do the thing...

Heaux Goddess, every day is a new day. Please be a daily respite from the constant foolishness we see in our respective businesses, inboxes, and the world around. Heauxiest of the Heaux Goddess, please take this *censored* out of my inbox:

  • “You’re really attractive but I would never pay that rate for a bigger girl. Go to $250/HR and we can talk.”
  • “Why should I pay your rate when I can get someone younger, hotter, thinner, and white for that or less?”
  • “You’ll never make it for a bigger girl let alone one of color at your rate.”

Help these fools see the error of their ways. Deliver them. 

 Plus Size Model & Wanted Lady, Ashley Graham... no photoshop 

Plus Size Model & Wanted Lady, Ashley Graham... no photoshop 

Heaux Goddess - I'm no longer giving in to my desire to appease others therefore abandoning myself. I'm not going to be passive aggressive but instead clear and direct. I do not need permission to stand up for what I believe in, even if unpopular; to honor my limits and my values. I’m done cracking under the pressure to drop my rates due to my size and/or my race. My rates are staying where they are at. And as you send clients who actually read my site, allow them to see my pre-booking incentive because ya know your girl likes her calendar to be structured.

 Plus Size Model & Wanted Lady, Ashley Graham... no photoshop

Plus Size Model & Wanted Lady, Ashley Graham... no photoshop

Thank you for sending me great clients that don’t give a *censored* about my weight, pants size or my skin color. And as we know, thinness has nothing to do with health, and color should have nothing to do with someone's value. We remember ole’ girl from America’s Next Top Model who was thin as hell but couldn’t even do a damn body slide up a mirror she was so weak. Catch me with these quads and hams in the gym as I squat 245… that’s well over what I weigh. Remind these men that hold Ashley Graham in such high esteem and as a sex kitten that her and I share one thing in common... body type. I digress. Thank you for the clients that see a gorgeous AF woman with a body built for sin, a sharp and challenging wit, and a personality that is adorable and lovable all at once.

Heaux Goddess just be a fence all around with CTV so I can watch Drake when he was Jimmy. Thank you for bringing Barack back from vacation and thank you for not letting Beyonce steal the thunder of Black History Month with the twins. I love her but she’s so damn selfish sometimes. Thank you as I continue to live my life, become a better woman, and maximize my glow up. 

Namaste. Ase. As Above so below. Amen.


-Inspired by my friend at VSB...

N.B. Should someone be interested in booking time with me there are incentives to pre-booking if you'll be in Dallas or if I am on tour. However, that is clear should one look at my site. 

Also, I am acutely aware of my privilege as a SW that does not rely on companionship to survive. In no way am I knocking what each of you are going through individually my fellow Sister & Brother companions. I know we each go through our own trials and tribulations at times; I’m just speaking on my testimony from the heart.